Dammit Wednesday: I’m Roped In

Why is it that I’m always finding myself getting roped into doing or maintaining something? Especially at work, I just can’t seem to keep my mouth shut. I offer to work on things like it’s a bodily function and it’s always “No Problem” for me. I overuse that phrase, “No Problem”.

I think it’s because I want to feel like I’m contributing as much as possible, I honestly just want to do my best and gain as much job security as I can. There are people here who don’t pull their weight, and it actually makes me angry, very angry. I get even angrier when I have to clean up their mistakes or pick up slack because they’re not doing their job. Somehow they still work here and rather than asking why they still have a job I ask myself why I bother trying, I mean will it really pay off? I hate being busy and constantly stressed out at work but it’s hard for me to say ‘no’ to my boss, and it’s hard to express that I’m only hanging on to sanity by a thread at times. I’ll do my best to show I can handle everything at work and sadly I take out my stress in my own time, at home.

It’s a vicious cycle because if it seems like I have everything completely under control, it looks like I’m not busy so I get even more things to do. Then when things don’t get done it’s hard to explain why. I suppose I just need to make it look like I’m busy all the time, I should start flailing my arms around or something.